Marriage counseling — you might need it, when do you know? When you know the honeymoon is over is usually when you might need marriage counseling. But if the honeymoon over how do you know? You will know this when your spouse says: “stop making that ugly face,” instead of: “you have a wonderful smile.”

That fact is in the beginning, when we first fall in love, we overlook all the little annoying things that we all have. Love can easily blind us. I think it is typical in almost every relationship when getting some marriage counseling seems important.

When we are blinded by love, really nothing can ever go wrong. We see everything through rose coloured glasses. When the honeymoon is over, all those little annoyances start arising in our awareness, and instead of giving compliments, we are hurling painful complaints.

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The painful truth is that we usually hate those certain things we see in other people that, actually, remind us of ourselves. But this fact is unconscious to us.

Thinking that through criticism we will be able to change our partners to be what we think is an ideal mate, the problem is that we begin to criticise them for this purpose.

This is backward and wrong thinking.

No amount of criticism will ever help your situation it will ruin it. The more you criticize the more your partner will shut you out. Soon you will need marriage counseling.

I think Gandhi said once: if you want to change the world, you must become that change, or something similar to this.

This will work for your relationship too. If you need to change your relationship, if you want to make it well again, you must first change yourself. Those things that you don’t like about yourself, which you are criticising your partner for, you must change in yourself first.

You must criticise yourself in order to save your relationship.

Your happiness is not dependent on other people. True happiness can be found within. You must love yourself, and be in total harmony. After that your partner will pick up on this intuitively. Then they will want to share in the love you already possess. Look for marriage counseling to help you.

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