Infidelity is a painful way to break a marriage. Marriage vows promised trust and love. It’s very unfortunate that infidelities breaks those vows and causes hurt and pain.

To find some of the sources of that pain, here is a case study of Sue A. And Joe R. As they work on their emotional infidelity struggles.

Joe and Sue grew up next door to one another in the suburbs. In high school they began to date and midway through college Joe ask Sue to marry him. To this union were born three children, two boys and a girl.

Money was sometimes tight as the kids began to grow older so Joe started working late at the office to make ends meet. A few months later Sue noticed that money was just as tight or tighter even though Joe was working very late almost every night. When she mentioned this to Joe, a big fight followed and Joe left.

A week later, he called Sue to try to make amends. During their conversation, he tells Sue that he has been unfaithful. Both partners are willing to try counseling to see if things can be made better.

Sue is heartbroken. The very idea of forgiveness is nauseating. She has been betrayed by the one she loved the most. In her wildest imagination, she would have never have though of this type betrayal.

Most of us would like for this story to end with reconciliation, however most of these stories do not end this way. Infidelity’s pain is not quickly erased. The mistrust often ends in divorce.

Even if things work out, the mistrust will work their way to the surface again and again. One missed appointment can rapidly bring up old feelings. Joe also has changed. He may no longer be as willing to stick through the tough times that happen in any marriage.

Family and friends become aware of the circumstances. They may no longer come around as often and the family support system is broken. It is difficult to find anyone in whom to confide.

If the experience ends in divorce, the children find themselves pulled between each parent. Sometimes one or the other parent moves to a distant location and children only have opportunity to vision during summers or school breaks. Although parents are warned not to divorce their kids, kids feel abandonment. The pain of infidelity continues to grow.

Even if Sue re-marries or finds another significant other, doubts from the first marital infidelity continue to hinder her freely sharing her feelings since she has already been betrayed once.

Joe finds that his income, which was already being stretched thin, is now being split between his new household and that of his former family. He is paying an expensive price for his marital infidelity. He also finds that he has difficulty with trust. It is not that he cannot trust others. Joe has difficulty trusting himself.

If you are considering infidelity, please consider the pain that it may cause by not surviving infidelity. You cannot forget that this is all about marital infidelity

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