Infidelity is a painful way to break a marriage. Marriage vows promised trust and love. Infidelity breaks those vows and causes hurt and pain.

What is the source of all this pain? Look at the lives of Sue and Joe as they experience the pain of infidelity.

They knew each other before ever starting school together. Their mothers were best friends. Joe was a year older and they began dating when Sue was a high school junior. College was not a difficult choice for Sue, she followed Joe and during her sophomore year, he proposed. They are parents of three children.

There were some money problems as the children grew up and Joe said he could work late to help bring more money home. The money problems did not seem to improve even though Joe was rarely home. When Sue brought this up, Joe became very angry and left the house. He did not answer phone calls for several days.

A week later, he called Sue to try to make amends. During their conversation, he tells Sue that he has been unfaithful. Both partners are willing to try counseling to see if things can be made better.

The heartbreak for Sue is great and forgiveness seems far off. Her husband she has known since she was three has been her betrayer. This was something of which she would have never dreamed. He knew more about her than she felt she knew herself. The hurt was immeasurable.

We all love stories to end happily, however this one may end that way. These deep hurts do not go away overnight. Divorce often follows such mistrust.

Any time in the future, that Joe is late for dinner; those old feelings begin to surface once again. Has he found someone else? Whenever he becomes annoyed at the situation, Joe may be tempted to escape to another place without all the pressures of home.

Somewhere along the way, friends and families may find out what has happened. They too may feel the hurt and friendships may even be broken.

If the experience ends in divorce, the children find themselves pulled between each parent. Sometimes one or the other parent moves to a distant location and children only have opportunity to vision during summers or school breaks. Although parents are warned not to divorce their kids, kids feel abandonment. The pain of infidelity continues to grow.

Even if Sue re-marries or finds another significant other, doubts from the first relationship continue to hinder her freely sharing her feelings since she has already been betrayed once.

Joe’s money troubles have only just begun. Divorce and living the divorced lifestyle is an expensive process, both financially and emotionally. He now pays child support and has to pay his own rent or home payment as well as other bills. Joe also feels the pain of his failure. Infidelity has also brought pain to the instigator.

While marital infidelity may be tempting, remember that there is a high pain price to pay for cheating and surviving infidelity may not be possible.

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