Sustaining a safe relationship is vital in one’s life. However, finding a partner has alot to take into consideration and should be done with care as the chosen partner can decide a relationship to be healthy or abusive. An abusive partner would not only make the relationship unhealthy, but in turn would cause serious physical and mental harm to the spouse involved.

The characteristics of an abusive partner can be clearly seen through their physical behavior. An abusive partner tends to display the following traits such as, an ill temper which causes them to lose his/her temper by relatively small day-to-day events and unhindered jealousy towards the other partner. An abusive partner normally is possessive of the other and tries to control and separate the partner from any social interactions by prohibiting them the association of friends or relatives. Furthermore, he/she will normally exercise control over the total income and relationship decisions. In addition, extreme mood swings is also a frequent sign, where an abusive partner may act as a loving and caring person one minute, and abruptly turns into a terrible and repulsive person the next.

Although an abusive partner presents extreme violence, he/she will not claim responsibility for the aggression and may even blame the victim for triggering it, stating that the victim needs to change. Verbal abuse is also a natural feature of an abusive partner through which he/she will humiliate the victim frequently claiming that the victim is mediocre and incapable to perform without him/her. One of the most significant of the traits is when the abusive partner breaks or hits objects in an attempt to punish or intimidate the other partner into obedience. Generally, the shattered objects would have a sentimental value for the victim and this act is carried out to give a message to the victim that the violence could escalate making the victim the next target.

If one finds oneself in an abusive relationship, it is insistent to act fast. As an abusive partner has the potentiality to hurt the other , one’s safety should be the primary concern. To leave safely, it is vital to plan before any action is taken. One should find support from whom one can rely on and receive help with the departure from the relationship. Counseling services are ideal for guidance and help in leaving the relationship. Even the local clergy or the physician would also provide the necessary advice.

Being attentive to the status of one’s relationship is key. No relationship is worthyif the abuse partner and physical and mental abuse is intended.

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